I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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