I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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