its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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