I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
