please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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