Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
