I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
