Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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