By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
