Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
either way he was missing a nipple.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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