It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
