My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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