my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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