Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
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I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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