You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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