I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
