i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
