Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
