Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
