Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
