i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
