If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
