i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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