talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
