I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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