is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
