Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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