omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
