At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
