I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
