I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
