She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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