we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
