my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
