if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
pray to the hookup gods
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
