so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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