Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
