just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
