thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
