Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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