Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it was like eating out sand paper
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
BRING THE BAGELS
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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