I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
