a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
