i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
