didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
