I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
