I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
