Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
