do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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