i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
