It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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