So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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