I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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