i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
