Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
