Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Everyone says I win the strip club
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
