my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
